What To Say To Women What To Say To Women
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What To Say To Women

Men and women speak different languages, and to communicate with women effectively, you need to understand their language, and then you must speak to them in their own language. The words women use may be the same, but they use them differently for different ends.

Women think differently than men do, and they are motivated by different needs and biological drives. Men communicate through language with the intention of providing information and solving problems. Women, on the other hand, are not as interested in solving problems as they are in expressing their feelings. Women communicate with the intention of being related and to establish intimacy.

When men get together they often spend their time talking about solutions to their problems or boasting about their exploits to bolster their egos. Whereas when women get together, they spend their time 'matching' problems and empathizing with one another. Women talk about their feelings and share the most intimate details of their lives with each other, while men tend to choke down their emotions and discuss problems in impersonal, abstract terms. To get good at picking up women, you need to learn how to talk to women the same way they talk to each other.


The first rule of thumb when talking to women is to be complimentary. Appeal to a woman's vanity. All people need to feel attractive and appreciated, especially women. They spend hours making themselves look attractive. Let them know that you appreciate the care and special attention they have taken to make themselves beautiful.

Betty, a raven haired beauty, told me, "When a man first meets a woman, he should compliment her. And not crudely - not 'nice tits' or 'you've got as nice ass there baby.' Compliment my outfit, my hair, my eyes. Any attribute he finds attractive about me. He doesn't even have to like the whole package. Maybe he likes my earrings or my fingernails, something he can honestly say 'that's nice,' or 'I like how you put that outfit together,' or 'those shoes really look nice with that skirt,' -- something that shows he took the time to notice you, to notice what you're wearing, or how you wear your make up."

Be creative when dishing out compliments, and use the opportunity to generate conversation. For example, don't just say, "Those are pretty earrings you're wearing." Say, "Gee, those earrings really bring out the color in your eyes. Where did you pick them up?" A compliment followed by a question is always a good way to start a conversation.

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