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To Thine Ownself, Be True

By Angelnise

Romance? My opinion on that is simple.

I really don't believe in the actual existence of romance except in novels.

I once thought that romance was something that you automatically acquired when you began a relationship. I expected "sparks to fly" and tenderness. I learned that it is actually something you must practice. You can't assume that what you believe to be a romantic date or gesture is going to seem romantic to your partner.

I am tired of receiving pink roses. I don't particularly want to hear a song that is off-key. I don't want cards. I have enough stuffed animals to open a petting zoo. Jewelry is too extravagant to accept. I like to buy my own clothes. I don't like being cold. I'm afraid of some dark places (if I can't see my feet, I'll go into hysterics). If I receive perfume, I assume that you're trying to tell me that I stink. I can't see you in candlelight.

Same old. Same old.

Everyone assumes what is romantic, but nobody ever tries anything new. It's not that we don't like some of the things that our partners try to do for us, but sometimes, it is very boring.

Everyone has a different idea of what romance is. The bottom line is this: We want to feel sublime.

I probably have the strangest idea of what is sublime. For instance, I love the feel of the wind. I love anything that recreates the same effect. I don't want a fan blowing in my face at full throttle, of course, but I think it is awesome for someone to do the things that I would normally do when the wind is blowing. I have really long hair that always seems to fall in my face, and I love for it to be gently pushed back (can't mess up the mane, though, it takes at least fifteen minutes to create).

Apparently, I can read. I rather enjoy being read to. Especially if the person really gets into the book and acts out the part with their voice. Most impressive.

I can cook. I hate cooking. I hate the kitchen. When I do cook, I only cook gourmet (if you're going to do something, then you might as well do it right). I really love it when someone else does the cooking. I respect the time it took them to prepare a meal for me.

What should you give as a gift?

Find out more about the person, and give something from the heart.

I stated previously that I was tired of pink roses. I love them. Fact of the matter is, my Father also loves them because they remind him of his Mother. For this reason, my Mother has planted around 50 rose bushes in our backyard. I see roses and smell roses every day in late spring, summer, and early fall. My need for roses is, therefore, fulfilled. BUT, I also love red poppies. They have a simplistic oriental appearance to them. No one has ever given me red poppies. My Mother refuses to have any in her gardens. The only way I see them is from pictures, and every once in a while, I'll paint a picture full of poppies.

Cards end up in the trash...eventually. No one has ever written a real poem for me. It doesn't have to rhyme. I'm pretty sick of the whole "Roses are red" thing.

For those of you who think that sex=romance. WRONG!

Not to say that it is not sublime.

Truth being said: It is easy to have sex with the flesh and the face, but it is entirely different to make love to the person behind it.

If your hormones are talking instead of your heart, you don't need to be with that person just yet. Not only could you be cheating yourself out of getting to know someone who really is cool, you are also cheating the other person by not putting as much value on their stock in you. Put simply, they may like you more than you like them, and you should always be considerate of other people's situations.

Sometimes, you can get just as worked up from a kiss (given that they know HOW to kiss you). Everyone has different preferences.

What does it mean to be charming?

I think that is what is wrong with most relationships. We forget how to be charming. We forget to take the time to do the little TALK to the other person. We forget to make them feel like they are important to us. Instead, we play games to test the waters. No one wants to be vulnerable. No guts, no glory. If you can't stand to bare your heart for someone else to see it and evaluate it, don't expect them to hang around.

Although, I have been in situations where not knowing was half the fun. I spent most of my time trying to guess what the other person was thinking about me. Sometimes, there are things better left unsaid. This forces a person to pick up on your actions and body language, a much more pleasing method of communication when you consider how many times a person flubs what they intended to say or miscommunicates the meaning of what they were saying.

Want to play the field?

Sometimes, you just feel as though there must be something better out there. Maybe you just want something different. I think that playing the field can be a nasty habit. You can't expect to ever be truly happy in a relationship if you are not willing to give it your all. It's okay to have friends and go out to have fun. It's not cool to keep someone hanging on a string. You wouldn't like it if it were being done to you. No one wants to be controlled. There is a BIG difference in a relationship between control and respect. You should respect a person enough to not control them. Nobody likes to be told what to do. Yet, they should respect you enough to not do things that would hurt you.

So what about LOVE?

You can't expect that just because you tell someone that you love them they are going to instantaneously love you back. You also shouldn't use such a permanent term until at least a year of serious dating has passed. It's a big mistake to say it and have to take it back because something happens in the relationship to change your mind about the person.

There are many other ways to tell someone of your affection for them. You may want to use words such as: enamoured, enchanted, adore, cherish, twitterpated, infatuated, etc.

In all things, there is only one quote that you should remember.

To thine ownself, be true. - William Shakespeare

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